Children learn early.
They are not born knowing, but almost. Children learn very fast to get what they want with manipulative behavior. To be more or less depend on how deal with it.
Children learn early on how to attract attention and control their environment. In principle, these are normal behaviors that serve to adapt to the environment. But when the problem will continue to analyze such behavior, they are associated with a marked degree of whim, caprice, get away with it, wear of the parents or grandparents to get what they want. The great perseverance and toughness characteristics of the children do the rest.
The mechanism that explains the functioning of the operations is the same child for five years for the adolescent: the difference lies in the preparation of responses. The child who starts refusing to eat anything until you put his favorite food is potentially the child who says he does not study if you do not leave the computer or if you do not buy such a thing will find out.
How to recognize them.
They can be subtle, such as manipulation of emotion through-the crocodile tears are a good example-or very obvious, such as disproportionate behavior: the famous tantrums or angry manifesto against the adult concerned. And while the smaller children, most use this type of blackmail, two and three years management achieve a non-verbal communication and would like some adults.
The goal? Guided by their own will and deal with a harsh considering where they are forced to eat what you do not want or sleep when they want to play.
The environment is the one who is guiding the use, maintenance, and disposal of certain strategies: if the child knows that the people you’re not going to achieve their goal, they will not try or they will be less insistent.
Behaviors harmless and unimportant, but they hide a great manipulation.
The child still in the cradle does not sleep if not holding the hand of their parents or even sleeping with one of them. The dream and fear gives them the perfect excuse to keep their parents.
The selective child with food. The child must have to eat an array of media such as television set, all his stories around the table and toys around, because if not, does not open his mouth.
The child who always decides. Where to go, and with whom we go.
You feel the love.
The oppositional child per system. Discover that does not work often, and it undermines parents.
It is not easy, but it helps follow these instructions:
Never able to persuade a child to stop being a manipulative to the extent that your environment allows, but would take very little to get it if we help parents to observe and be aware of the manipulative behavior of their children, even register to discover them clearly. So learn to see what you get with them and not compromise, it would become stronger and more common.
Banish the exceptions. When manipulative behave we allow them to get anything of what is proposed.
Do not show weakness, because otherwise it will grow. We will have to show calm and secure, and this will soon relent in the effort.
Do not expect to go away alone, by magic. Precisely the opposite will happen, become chronic.
Try as soon as they learn to ask and get what they want properly: when they are creating in small and predictable routines are older when explaining how they always do and giving clear clues for it.
Try self-control to avoid negative emotions mediate the interaction and above all do not make it easy for the child to that drive him.
Many parents will almost without realizing it in a spiral of anger frequently, for example to comply with the rules, or to sleep or eat, etc. and know that it is one of the great ways for children to manipulate them with relative ease. And is that adults are more inflexible in dealing with emotions, while boys are showing that they can mourn and feel very badly and, in seconds, laugh and be super.
Are you raising a little tyrant? So are:
Any excuse is good, even some early experiences, such as being hospitalized for an operation or illness, to learn to be sensitive to the environment in a special way, and thus paid to his care and attention. This makes them more likely to manipulate the environment thereafter.
They start from small, when they discover the strength they have what they say or do or not do, and how it mobilizes the environment.
They are great observers.
Experience a high level of frustration when they get what they want.
You can display aggressive or, conversely, very affectionate if interested, very distant or very close.
It produces a snowball effect, ie progressively increasing degree of tyranny for the simple reason that they work in an almost immediate.
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